A Return to Civility

Leaders must set the example to encourage civil behavior and create the positive environment in which business can thrive

Sometimes you might wonder if we truly live in a civilized society. It seems rude and discourteous behavior is on the rise. The modern workplace can be an incubator for incivility if left unchecked.

Inside and outside the workplace, we see a rash of disrespectful, discourteous and rude behavior. Angry commuters use their vehicles to take out their aggressions and cut others off in traffic. Customer service has diminished to the point where most would rather use an impersonal ATM than face an unhappy bank teller.

Malicious political campaigns and tactics draw out the worst in even the most respected people. Children face tremendous fear and stress from bullies at school. The examples of an uncivilized society are too numerous to recount, and the workplace is a microcosm of society.

The impact of such behavior can be more psychologically damaging than open forms of abuse, such as harassment and violence. Negative behavior happening outside the workplace is trickling in, affecting employee loyalty, organizational commitment and overall productivity.

The pressures of everyday life can take their toll on employees who are already working under a great deal of stress. Tempers get frayed and patience and tolerance are thrown out the window.

 

Changing the climate

It’s time for a change, but understanding precedes change. What typically leads to uncivil behavior is disagreement. Someone wants to be right, better or stronger. Someone wants to be heard. Sadly, that attitude often leads to a win-lose outcome.

As a leader, your first step is to realize that conflict is a vital part of organizational success. Properly facilitated, disagreements lead to healthy, constructive conversations that translate into creativity, innovation and a shared sense of accomplishment.

Encouraging civility in the workplace promotes a low-stress work environment and improved employee morale. It also helps mitigate employee dissatisfaction that often results in such things as civil rights complaints and lawsuits.

The economic impact of litigation, turnover, lost productivity and customer dissatisfaction can be devastating. Signs of a company infected with incivility include:

Higher than normal turnover.

• A large number of employee grievances and complaints.

• Lost work time by employees calling in sick.

• Increased consumer complaints.

• Diminished productivity in quality and quantity of work.

• Cultural and communication barriers.

• Lack of confidence in leadership.

• Inability to adapt effectively to change.

• Lack of individual accountability.

 

Managing relationships

Civility is essential to defining the culture and establishing a foundation of proper business behavior. To reach its full potential, an organization must be able to manage interpersonal relationships in a manner that promotes civil and respectful interactions.

This is not easy considering the myriad personalities and individual circumstances that affect the workplace. But it can be accomplished. Creating a civil workplace boils down to three basic principles: respect, restraint and refinement.

Respect simply acknowledges that although another person’s beliefs may be different, you should honor that person’s viewpoint and give it due consideration. Considering someone’s feelings, ideas, and preferences indicates that you take that person seriously and that their position has worth and value. Respect is the most important step in building a relationship and reducing the potential for conflict. In an atmosphere of mutual respect, goals and concessions become easier to attain.

Restraint is simply a matter of exercising self-control at all times. You should know your triggers and be aware of how your words and actions affect others. Knowing what makes you angry or upset helps you to monitor and manage your reaction. You may not be able to control what others say or do, but you can control your response.

Refinement is the quest for continual cultivation and improvement of relationships. Just as continuous quality improvement is a means to better performance and higher efficiency, refinement of thought, ways of expression and decorum can go a long way to enhance workplace civility.

 

Making it a priority

Improving and strengthening relationships requires effort and commitment. Achieving civility requires the involvement of every employee, from the top down. Everyone prefers to work in an environment free from backbiting, rudeness and constant complaining. A commitment to achieving and sustaining civility can be the key to a successful and thriving organization with high morale.

Leaders can and should make workplace civility a priority, insisting that all employees exercise these practical ideas:

• Pursue understanding first.

• Listen to and respect others’ opinions.

• Seek common ground, even if it’s to agree to disagree.

• Tune into what’s happening around you; observe the climate.

• Accept responsibility for your actions and their consequences.

• Offer and willingly accept constructive feedback.

Leaders are called to promote a safe and respectful workplace. That means insisting on civility and common courtesy. It starts with you. Take time to assess your own behaviors.

Do you gossip or spread rumors? Have you ever raised your voice to make a point? Are you communicating important information to your team, or withholding information they need? Set an expectation of workplace civility by walking the talk and being the change you want to see.



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